Being a woman in my 20’s weddings are all around me. Above is a picture from my own wedding (thank you Thomas & Erika for the beautiful pictures) and I have to say that up to that point that is likely the most I weighed since meeting my husband. Here is what I know:
1.) I looked like a million dollar version of ME – I can see me in that picture, which is who my husband was marrying
2.) My husband still married me
3.) I was surrounded by my family and friends who knew me as I was, not a model on the front cover of a magazine.
I can’t say I wasn’t initially tempted to go hardcore on a wedding slim down plan – hell I even tried and failed, until I realized the pressure I was putting on myself for ONE day was absurd. I stopped my wedding diet within a month of starting it, not because I couldn’t loose weight or it was too hard but because I wanted to enjoy that time in my life.
We went out and ate greasy bowling alley food to sample for a rehearsal, I enjoyed cake tasting without worrying about making up for it in deficit of earlier calories or time in the gym, I drank and toasted with friends and family, I had a glass of wine when planning got stressful and families fought.
Did weight 20 pounds more at my wedding than I had 7 years earlier when I met my husband make me any less beautiful as a bride? I suppose some would say of course it did – I mean let’s face it I am not a size 3, even at my smallest I couldn’t pull that off.
And my husband doesn’t seem to love me any less. You know looking back at pictures sure I can point things out and say, damn I should have lost a little weight, I mean look at my back. My dress could have been just a little nicer if I was more shapely, but dammit anyway that body in that picture? It finished two marathons, traveled across the world 4 times, gave me PBs when I was swimming, took the abuse of pulling all nighters, stood on my feet for 8 hours a day, took dance lessons, and of course got me through a whole other host of childhood memories.
The best part? That dress? It fit like a glove. Every time I put it on, it was just right. I looked amazing, I felt amazing and my family and friends? Yeah they are still around. One year to date after the above picture my body did another amazing thing by bringing my baby girl into the world. Yep I gained weight and yep it sucked and nope even 19 months later it isn’t all gone and it may never be but my husband? Well he is still here. My family and friends? Yep they stuck around too.
I know I am gong a little extreme when I say my family is still there because I know it isn’t just about that, but health and wellness should be about your life and your lifestyle not looking great in that wedding dress for one day.
Start the wedding diet if you must, but don’t let it take from your experience in the short term. Remember these are moments you don’t get back, spending them stressed about a few pounds that NO ONE cares about seems like an utter waste. My wish for my little girl? That she finds a network that makes her feel more beautiful than words. If she should one day find herself in a white dress, I hope that the person she marries makes her feel safe, secure, and beautiful as she is.