The Facebook Black Hole/Intentional Living Goal 3

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Today is one of those days where Facebook has sucked me in with it’s suggestions of people I may know.

You have been there right?

Every click leads you to someone else that you once knew.

I have found something surprising through this black hole Facebook encourages.

I always thought I was slightly unique in the sense that I married a man I started dating in high school … I mean most high school friends loose touch right?  Apparently not – several people I went to high school or even middle school with have ended up married and starting families.

Does this matter?  No, not at all but as the 10 year anniversary of our graduation approaches I have started to wonder just a little about all the things that happened in high school, the friends I made or didn’t make and what I maybe misunderstood about life that caused this to happen.  Especially as I have started to realize that many of the people who were friends in high school made lasting friendships.

When I was in high school I always thought that the friends I made then were really rather temporary.  I had always heard that you made life long friends in college – not high school.  And frankly I didn’t have the personality to really be out there and make those friends.  I am, after all, an introvert at heart.

I also really bought into the idea of everyone having a ‘place’ in the social hierarchy of high school and desperately wanted to avoid that drama … so I kept my head down.  I ended up being a little bit ‘lost’ in the shuffle and didn’t really identify with a particular group/type of people.  I talked to pretty much anyone but only had a few solid friends … and probably only one lasting friendship that has lasted 20+ years.

Here is the funny thing – with most of the people that I ‘didn’t like’ in high school, I can’t for the life of me remember why.  With 99% of the people I never actually had a bad ‘encounter’ or a negative ‘experience’.  And frankly, I knew very few of them enough to be able to say that we had/have nothing in common.

So it comes down to a question of why was I so closed off – and are those behaviors that have endured over the years?  And potentially more important, how do I stop that?

This week starts a new week and a new intentional living goal.  I have already started working on ‘strategic relationships’ at work.  This week I am making it a goal to 1.) foster a relationship in my personal life and 2.) take a risk and put an effort into foster a new relationship.

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