Big decisions – 5 wishes for my daughter

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Should you buy that new car?  Move to that new house?  Take that trip?  Pursue that pie in the sky dream?  Should you risk it all on that one in a million business idea?  These are common big decisions most of us face.  And they seemed so much easier to make before a little human started ruling every decision I could possibly make.  It got me wondering if it is really that hard … and what would I tell her if she was a mommy to her own beautiful little girl?

Here are the top 5 things I came up with:

  1. Happiness – whatever brand that may be and whatever it takes to get there.  Being a daughter myself I understand the deep desire to never let your parents down.  I don’t know if my parents knew this when I was younger but there is nothing worse than hearing ‘I am not mad, just disappointed’.  Seriously, knife to the heart and twisted.  But being a parent, I also know the insane tendency to ‘plan’ your child’s life.  You think you know what is the best path for them to happiness … what will be easiest and most fulfilling.  News flash – this is not your job.
  2. Empowerment – I want my sassy little girl to be as empowered when she is in her 20’s to make decisions and take leaps of faith as she is today.  What is the saying, nothing wagered, nothing gained?  I don’t want her to be reckless but I do want her to be daring and bold.
  3. Trust – in herself.  As much as I like to think no one in the universe will ever know her better than I do, she already does. Have you ever seen a 2 year old melt down?  It isn’t pretty right?  But that 2 year old is melting down because they know what they want and just don’t know how to communicate it.  The world seems to spend a lot of time trying to teach us what we want out of life, but have you ever quietly watched a little kid from an unseen corner?  They are getting along just fine, because they know their own hearts and desires.
  4. Security – in the choices she has made and the family she has both been born into and has made around her.  Whether that includes friends, coworkers, or her own children.  I hope she knows that no matter what she does and no matter what life brings, she has a place among those people that is full of love.
  5. Respect – I want my little girl to above all else respect herself.  I am not talking lovey dovey looking in the mirror and telling herself that she has self-respect and self-love.  I mean I want her to have such respect for herself that she stops the negativity in her life.  When someone is causing more harm than good, walk away.  When things are too stressful – reach out for help.  Just a basic respect and consideration we teach our children to have for others.

And while I am wishing on a star here is a wish for myself and my husband when our little girl is now only a little baby in the imaginations of our memories:

  1. Peace of mind – not that she will always be okay.  She is going to screw up, make mistakes, and life is going to get complicated and messy – but I hope that we will have peace of mind knowing that we have given her all the tools she needs to get through.  I hope that we know her tool box is overflowing with everything she needs to navigate this world. We won’t be able to teach her everything, but if we can give her the basics she can build a life full of beauty and wonder.

… And a bottle of wine – I hope there will be a bottle of wine nearby, I am not sure parenting at any age is for the faint of heart.

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