Today has been a huge day for me and also my family. We are starting a new journey together – one that is exciting and scary all at once. After 11 years – which includes my entire adult life and the majority of my working life – I am leaving my job. In 2 weeks I will walk through those doors for the last time – at least for now.
I have been agonizing over this decision and yesterday I finally found the clarity I needed to make the jump. I have reviewed and prepared the best I am able and we are going to be just fine but I still can’t help but wonder if I am putting a life my husband and I have spent 7 years building at risk. Ultimately the decision came down to this for me: how do I want to raise my child and what would I want her to do?
If she were in my shoes – and I in my mother’s – what I would want for my daughter would be to not leave any stone unturned. To pursue her dreams and passions and to be happy. I would hope that she has a support system that says ‘you are awesome and you can do this’ – and the best way to teach her to have courage and strength is to practice it myself.
I have been waiting to feel competent and confident enough to be qualified to make such decisions and it hit me – this is a lot like having a baby … if you wait until you are ready, you will never get there. So here we are.
I am a 27 year old married mother of 1. I have the most amazing little girl and the best husband a girl could ask for. I am capable and beyond qualified to make decisions about my own destiny. And my daughter will be better for seeing that life doesn’t just happen to you – you have to make choices and participate.
Before you think I just went crazy one day and decided to give notice, you should know I thought this over long and hard. Something for sure had to give – I am not Wonder Woman after all. I considered quitting school. Not only would my husband not entertain the idea, it wasn’t truly what I wanted but what I thought everyone expected and it wouldn’t get me any closer to being happy.
So here is the plan. I will finish my kinesology degree at the end of Summer. I will take my MCAT and likely apply to medical school. When I am done I will practice family medicine. Is it crazy? Possibly? Impossible? Only if I let it be.
I am giving myself 1 year to see progress towards this goal. I am shooting for the moon. Men have landed there before – and if I happen to fall among the stars? At least I will be in good company.
This next year is going to be a crazy ride – you should stick around and see where this journey leads.