Day 11 – Judgement

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This morning I was in no mood.  For some reason I just wasn’t interested in pretending and I really wasn’t prepared to deal with ugly judgmental stares.

My car has been in the shop since before Christmas which means that if little A and I want to be able to get out of the house at all we need to get up in the morning and bring daddy to work.  We did that today but that also means that we got up out of bed before the little normally wakes up so we left in her fleece footie jammies.  After we dropped off daddy we were going to go to the bank but it wasn’t open just yet and mommy was feeling really morning sick – we did the logical thing and got food.  Bagels from Panera and since we had time today we thought we would sit down inside and eat.

That is where I encountered this elderly couple reading the obituaries over bagels and coffee.  I noticed she was drinking milk out of a kids style box and thought it interesting because I have given A those boxes of milk with the straw but would never drink one myself but didn’t think anything of them beyond that.  As 2 year olds do, my little girl started to loose interest and stood on the bench.

That is when I noticed the couple staring and talking about us.  I couldn’t hear the specifics but I was already a little self-conscious about A being in her jammies so that is exactly where my head went.  Maybe it was projecting but after about 2 minutes of this I finally stared back and told said to my little girl ‘isn’t it rude when people keep staring at us’ and so they stopped.

That may have been extremely rude and maybe turning the other cheek would have been a better option but I have to wonder why people judge so harshly the parents of young children.  Despite my discomfort with my morning encounter, she was very well behaved and I thought it would be fun for her and I to do something fun together today.  So we went to her first movie theater movie.

I had wanted to take her to see Annie or Into The Woods but she had no interest in the trailers but wanted to watch the trailer for Big Hero 6 over and over and over.  So that is what we saw.  With it still being Christmas break around here, the theater was pretty full of kids.  A was the youngest and only tried to get up once.  She was actually less disruptive than most of the older kids – and the movie was pretty cute.

While it was a good day, I am left wondering why exactly we make parents feel so unsure of themselves and so inadequate.  I am always wondering if she is being rude, if she is being disruptive, and if I am maybe not teaching her the right things.  Most of the time I can roll my eyes and let it go but every now and then – especially when it is older individuals who have likely had their own children and been in my shoes once.

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