This week has been a little crazy.
There are a lot of changes being inspired by this new little one we expect in our lives when the days get longer and warmer. So far life has changed in the sense that I feel as though I need 3 naps daily and I am constantly worried about getting sick (knock on wood this has yet to become more than just a feeling).
But it has also helped make this very real.
As a result we have been in 100% must get A out of diapers mode for the past 6 days. She has been showing interest for some time and we tried in the past but sticking with it was hard when we only had a weekend here and there to really work with her. While we have been having a really easy time with her overall, it is still more about us making sure we give her the opportunities to use the potty often enough.
I have learned a few things over the past week though – well for my little girl anyway. I learned that Pull-Ups don’t seem to bother her when they are wet. If she is wearing one, she will use it. But undies or a diaper being wet seems to be extremely offensive to her sensibilities. Works for me, I am confidant I can find diapers for way less than pull ups. I also learned that no matter how many times I ask her she is going to tell me she doesn’t have to go … but I would rather tell her she has to than change a dirty diaper.
And while our 2 year old is getting the hang of this potty thing – we still need to get the dog reliably house trained.
It has definitely been keeping me busy – but today I had volunteer orientation at a local hospital. I was feeling a little crazy and overwhelmed when I left the house. I just feel like there is still a laundry list (including the laundry) that I would really like to get done before school starts up again next week, so any time away makes my stress level just ever so slightly elevated.
The orientation wasn’t exactly what I expected and I am not sure it is the answer to my desire to interact with people, but it might be a step in the right direction. After leaving I was both encouraged because there was definitely opportunity but also discouraged because most of that opportunity didn’t sound a whole lot like helping people – seriously how does working in the gift shop improve lives???
But when I left I also felt a little bit of peace that has been a long time coming. When I left my job in December, I did it because I was a little lost and unfulfilled. I was juggling too many hats and needed to bring back a little sanity to my life. I feel a little like I am tearing down what existed and rebuilding. And when I started 28 days ago, I was terrified. I was excited but mostly terrified. What if I didn’t make my dreams come true? What if I went through all this drama for nothing?
Do you know that saying ‘if you shoot for the moon and miss, at least you’ll land among the stars’? I feel like it is one of the biggest motivational cliches that exists in our language today – but it’s a good one. Leaving the orientation today, my ‘peace’ came in the form of a simple acceptance and realization. I might not be able to pull it off and earn that white coat and two little letters after my name. It might not happen, or maybe I find that it wasn’t what I expected or doesn’t fit my life as well as something else I happen upon – but that is not only okay, it’s beautiful.
For what feels like the first time in my life I am staring the biggest opportunity to ‘do anything’. I can literally do whatever is important to me. I can get back in tune with those values that got dusty while I sat behind a computer screen for 3 & 1/2 years and I can do what I set out to do in the first place.
If you’re wondering what that was, it’s pretty simple. As long as I can remember I have wanted to make the world a better place. When I was 5, that meant being a lawyer. When I was in 9th grade, that briefly meant being a high school lit teacher. When I was in 10th grade it again meant being a lawyer – until I had actual first hand experiences as an intern and realized it wasn’t what I thought and it wasn’t always about helping people.
Once I started working in the pharmacy, I knew helping people for me was most rewarding in the healthcare space. Today I am aiming to reach another galaxy, knowing that if I don’t make it all the way to MD I will at the very least be in the company of the brightest stars.