It is so hard to believer that I have been home full time for just over a year now. To recap, last year I had been working a corporate job that I didn’t so much love, struggling with what to do next in life, and trying to finish a degree … all while being a mom and a wife.
After talking it over with my husband, I decided to leave my less than fulfilling corporate job to finish my degree and pursue a fulfilling life. Also it didn’t hurt that we didn’t have to pay for child care.
New Year’s Eve night – well actually in the wee hours of New Year’s Day – I started wondering what really changed in the last year. There I was, sitting in a recliner with a sleeping baby crocheting a hat at 5:30 in the morning … and my sleep deprived brain (I was getting concerningly close to a 24 hour day since my last sleep) wanted to try and suss out all the things that have – or haven’t – happened in the last year.
So, without further ado, here are the things that changed this year:
I Often Forget The Day Of The Week
Is today Friday or Tuesday? What day did I last shower? Did I actually put on clothes today or is this what I slept in last night?
These sound like silly questions. For crying out loud I am home all day long, I should be able to shower and get dressed and have a general idea of what day in the week it happens to be. But here I am sitting in bed, wearing my new favorite perfume having to remind myself that today is Saturday – and that matters because my husband goes back to work Monday.
I Traded In My Fancy Body Spray For A New Fragrance
Being home and not having to get up and get ready for work has its benefits – but that new favorite perfume aforementioned? Basically I walk around smelling like a human spit up rag. Those showers I forget if I have taken or not? I have a 4 month old with the uncanny ability to wait to spit up on me until right after I shower … and then it isn’t my clothes he spits up on – it’s my freshly washed hair. Did I shower today? I think so, but the pungent and persistent sour milk smell makes me doubt myself.
I Traded In One Boss For Two
Instead of having an adult supervise my progress at work, I now have two tiny micromanaging dictators lording over my days … and nights. My three year old has 100% hit threenagerhood. Slammed doors, mommy I don’t like you’s and demanding I ‘talk like twilight sparkle’ are all full force in this house. I can’t tell if I am playing with a sweet toddler or fighting with a talking back teenager. And she is the ‘easy’ boss …
Boss #2 is rather demanding with the screams to be fed, the constant need for being held, and of course his refusal to sleep like a normal human being – hence the reason I was up until 5:30 in the morning yesterday. Add to that the fact that my boss poops his pants and requires that I change it and I think it is safe to say on a bad day, my little bosses could contend with the worst of them out there.
And of course there is no clocking out – hence the reason I am up at 2 am today. Of course part of my job is to keep the house in order but while I was working on that (instead of sleeping) the older boss woke up and demanded story time – but refused to let me read to her. Indecisiveness, is that my three year old or her future teenage self shining through?
I Don’t Pay Money For Childcare
Notice I didn’t say I don’t pay for childcare. Instead the currency when payment is required is my sanity. Not that I had much of that to begin with but what little I had certainly gets given away.
I Traded In My Own Pay Check
We’ve all heard what ‘just a mom’ would be paid if she was given a pay check for the work she does in the home (working mom’s do the same things but they spend time in a magical land where they get to have adult interaction and get paid for it … so no one seems to get too upset about the cost of all the things they do for their children on top of the job they already have). While those numbers with a dollar sign in front sounds nice, I certainly feel like the richest person in the world when boss #1 tells me ‘mommy, you’re a good mommy’. No amount of money or recognition at some other job would ever compare – and hugs and kisses, when they are flowing freely, almost offset my lost mind.
I guess the more things change the more they stay the same.